Becoming Parents
This week will be the start of a series of blogs about our journey so far as parents. Parenthood is something that we planned for, studied, and were extremely excited for. We thought we were ready physically, emotionally, mentally. What we learned is that parenthood, while there are more resources than ever to help prepare for it, you will never be fully prepared to traverse your own unique journey.
It was a rainy morning in Cambridge, Massachusetts. We had just visited Mt. Auburn Hospital after Ishtar’s water broke. The doctors told us that Ishtar was still early in her labor, so we were allowed to go home and spend early labor there. The time was about five in the morning on July 8th, 2021. We were told to go back to the hospital between three and five in the afternoon. We didn’t sleep all night. We grabbed a bite to eat at a local IHOP on our way home, anxious about the hours that were to come.
At home, we were both able to get a few hours of sleep. After eating lunch, we were back on the road to the hospital. Checking into the delivery room, we settled in for the night. As Ishtar’s pain started increasing, she was unable to get any rest and opted for an epidural. I could only wait at the door of the room, teeth and fists clenched, as I heard my wife writhing in pain as the epidural was applied. Already more than twenty-four hours into labor, Ishtar was able to get some pain relief from the epidural and get some sleep.
It was now July 9th, 2021. Ishtar had been in labor since the late hours of July 7th. She was exhausted and ordered by nurses to not consume any food, only getting water and popsicles. As time kept ticking, we both just wanted to see, to hold our son. The pushing began just after noon. After about two hours, Ishtar was running low on energy to push and developed a fever. The fever was caused by the amniotic sac being broken for too long and developing an infection of the placenta and amniotic fluid. Up until that point, we had tried everything from pushing, to assisted pushing to vacuum. For Ishtar and our son’s safety, we agreed to have a C section. Anxiety was high as Ishtar was being wheeled away to the operating room. The feeling of helplessness throughout the entire labor process was pushing its way to the front of my thoughts.
Once I entered the operating room, Ishtar was already prepped and comfortable for the surgery. Once the surgery began, I could barely keep it together. But I had to be strong for my wife. On this dreary summer afternoon on July 9th, 2021, just after four in the afternoon, our sunshine, our light, our future, our perfect son, arrived in the world. We named him Damon Morey Chen. We wanted to honor the effort my mother spent in finding me an uncommon name and for our son to always have a little piece of his grandma with him. His middle name, Morey, has an Irish etymology and means proud. We chose this name because our son is our pride and joy. We also affectionately call him DJ (Damon Junior) even though his name didn’t officially qualify him to be a Junior (Yes I had to look into this in depth and was very surprised to learn this, great article for reference here.)
I’ll always remember the moment I saw DJ as the doctor was holding him up for his first picture. He peeked one eye open and had this look of “Where am I?” It was priceless. My Canon M50 was able to muster one perfect shot of DJ meeting his mama before the battery died. I had been vlogging this experience for us to look back on in the future and to share with Ishtar’s mom in the Philippines. Thank goodness for modern cellphone cameras. Once the surgery was complete, we had to be apart for a few moments as the doctors did a check up on DJ. After more than forty hours of labor, we settled in the recovery room post delivery and had our first tender moments as a family. Holding my wife and son in my arms together at the same time, our first moments as a family were beautiful, unforgettable, life-changing. Once we were cleared in the monitoring room, we were moved to an in-patient room. Nothing about DJ’s delivery went as planned, but I wouldn’t have wanted the experience to be any different. This was our story with DJ, and it was just beginning. Everything that we planned and prepared for as parents were about to change.
A picture of DJ sleeping comfortable shortly after arriving into the world.
